What Happened to Reid?
by UnstableUniverses
Summary: Reid is kidnapped by a new serial killer known for stealing their victim's feet. It's now up to the gang to save him before he loses something he can never replace. Written for the Unstable Universes Podcast.


Criminal Minds X Bigfoot Corporal Punishment

"I have a new case for you guys," Rossi said, "There's a real sicko walking around taking peoples feet."

"Eww okay that's my cue to leave," said Penelope as she hurried out of the room. Sexy detective Derek Morgan watched her leave, he was deeply turned on by the sway of her ass.

"Sounds to me like a 6ft white male in his late twenties, probably a loner, his father probably abused him at a young age and he struggles with a great deal of mental illnesses. He's taking the feet as trophies to fill the void in his heart that seeing his mom die at the age of 7 left," Prentiss chimed in. She leaned back in her chair clearly self-satisfied even though it was the same profile she has given every episode since the first season of this damn show.

"I'd agree with you but this case gets even stranger. He's not just stealing the feet. He's cutting them off and draining these people of blood before dumping them in forests near Skamania County, Washington," Rossi said.

"Bigfoot territory," Reid whispered fear dripping from his voice.

"Come on Rossi! You don't actually believe Reid. I'm not spending my weekend hunting something that doesn't exist when I could be banging hot chicks," yelled sexy detective Derek Morgan.

It was only four hours later that sexy detective Derek Morgan found himself trudging through Gifford Pinchot National Forest, the group had to keep stopping so that Reid could catch his breath. He was so weak everyone wished that he would just get demoted to a desk job.

"It's only 50 more yards until we reach the cabin. Like we will be able to see it when we get to the top of this hill," said the team's large and burly guide. His name was Harry and his feet were unusually large.

"One moment," Reid panted, "my asthma is acting up."

"I CANT WAIT ANYMORE!" Harry screamed, even sexy detective Derek Morgan jumped at their guide's sudden outburst. Harry quickly gathered Reid up in his buff hairy arms and ran up the hill and out of sight. Reid's screams died out suddenly but the rest of his team just stood around in shock.

"Was that bigfoot?" Prentiss asked.

"Yeah, that might've been," replied Rossi.

"What are the chances that he's just taking him to the cabin?"

"Probably not high."

Reid awoke to a gruesome sight. He was in a cave that was surprisingly well lit and cozy thanks to the kerosene lamps scattered around. The cave would have easily been mistaken for a stone home had it not been for the missing wall that led into the forest. What made this sight so gruesome was not the warm kerosene lamps or the decorative throw pillows that matched the ornate rug, but rather the severed feet lining the walls and hanging from the ceiling.

"Oh good you're awake," came a voice from behind Reid. It was Harry but he looked entirely different now that the denim and plaid that he was wearing before was removed. Now it was clear that he was in fact a Sasquatch.

"You're bigfoot," Reid said. He tried to stand before realizing that he couldn't feel his legs. They were definitely still there, he could look down and see and touch them but they were super asleep. Harry groaned at Reid's panicking but made no move to stop him.

"Actually bigfoot is my brother;" Harry picked up a picture frame from one of the wooden tables and brought it over so Reid could see the photo inside. It was Harry posed with what looked like a clone of himself except the other figure was missing a leg! "I prefer to go by Bigfeet. But that's enough about me. I don't want your anesthetic to wear off before I chop off your feet."

At this Reid began to scream like a little bitch. His brain couldn't save him now. His only hope was that sexi detective Derek Morgan would find the cage before Bigfeet could take anything irreplaceable.

Lucky for Reid, sexy detective Derek Morgan did show up at that exact moment. Unlucky for Reid, sexy detective Derek Morgan is so used to breaking down doors that he was confused by the entrance to the cave, and this moment of confusion was enough time for Bigfeet to tackle him.

Prentiss pulled out her gun and pointed it at the large ape like creature but Rossi stepped in her way. He pulled out a large needle filled with some sort of blue liquid before plunging it into the muscular back of Bigfeet. Bigfeet roared in anger and thrashed around, grabbing one of the kerosene lamps and throwing it towards the wall. Unfortunately Reid was very close to the area of impact and caught fire in the resulting explosion. He attempted to stop drop and roll but he was unable to without the use of his legs. Prentiss saw his struggling and was kind enough to cover him in one of Bigfeet's many patchwork quilts. Back at the entrance to the cave Bigfeet had collapsed on top of sexy detective Derek Morgan, and even Derek's crazy ripped body couldn't push the hulking beast off of him.

"What kind of tranquilizer did you use?" Prentiss asked Rossi.

"Blue Gatorade. The only thing that can temporarily stop a sasquatch. I read about it on the plane ride over, someone on reddit told me about that lifehack."

It took the entire team to move Bigfeet's onto one of the wooden tables.

"So I guess we take him in for questioning. He's definitely going to get the death penalty. The only sasquatch the world has ever seen and we are going to have to kill him," said Prentiss sadly.

"I have a better idea," called Reid from his place on the couch where he was tending to his third degree burns, "how about we just teach him a lesson so he never kills again? Like what if we just give him a good spanking. Then the rest of his kind can continue living in peace."

"Or we could just kill him now and never report it," sexy detective Derek Morgan suggested very helpfully.

"I like Reid's idea, a good spanking should put him in his place," said Rossi stupidly. Prentiss liked the idea of killing Bigfeet's but Rossi was already positioning him for a lengthy spanking so she kept her mouth shut and went to help him.

Bigfeet was handcuffed to his dinner table when he woke up. He could feel the cool wind lapping at his exposed buttocks.

"Oh good, you're awake," Reid mocked, using Bigfeet's own words against him, "We are going to teach you a lesson for killing all of these innocent people. You're going to get a hearty spanking."

Before Bigfeet could understand fully what Reid was talking about he felt a paddle come down on his bare butt cheeks… hard. He almost cried out in pain but caught himself at the last moment. But Reid just continued on, each strike harder than the last. The only sounds echoing across the walls of Bigfeet's home were the slap of wood on skin and the occasional whimper of pain from Bigfeet.

"At what point does this become torture?" Prentiss asked.

"Who cares, just let pretty boy have his fun," Derek Morgan replied.


End file.
